Commoditization of Grooms
There is a cousin of mine who is on the verge of crossing her marriageable age, well at least according to all my relatives and acquaintances. By the way, she is just 25! That can be another topic of discussion. But let’s leave it for some other time for now.
A Lame Marriage Interview
Yeah so, at the moment, all our family members have this unstated, tacit and grave responsibility to hunt for a suitable groom for her. Last week, followed by an imperative call and need of the hour, few of the family members went to meet a guy and his family. I was simply shocked to death to know what happened there because I just haven’t expected this in times like today when I thought everything and everybody have changed. The guy’s family dint ask anything about the girl, apart from the very basic questions, the answers of which they were already aware of. Yes, because the answers of few penned (in an invisible diary!) questions are inevitable to be revealed before even any such talks begin.
Anyway, so they made no effort to show any kind of curiosity in knowing anything about the girl who apparently would become their daughter in law! No questions like what does she like, what her hobbies are etc. They did not even take any pain in describing the kind of girl they are looking forward to or at least the kind of qualities they would love their daughter in law shall possess. Now coming to the boy, strangely he too was short of any questions!
Now, the big question is- what did these two families discussed? Well, let me tell you what important things they had to talk and ask about:
Their son had been to London And they bragged about it for hours!
Their daughter was in US and they boasted about it.
Is going to London or to the US such a big deal in today’s world????? And if that is a big deal, it’s a pity!
Their son gave them a huge amount of money after coming back from London.
Apart from all the monotonous bragging and boasting, there were few other things that made an important part of the discussion:
Boy’s parents were looking forward to one thing: the wedding has to be done in a way that it should uphold their honor in the society (what does that mean???) Well, it simply means to give them good amount of stuff, in materialistic terms, so that they can show off how worthy their son is.
Gold jewelry to be given to a daughter is an unavoidable expense. But still, they wanted to know how much would we be able to afford!
A luxury car for our girl, not for them off course! They wouldn’t use it at all!
They didn’t want anything in dowry (woww, applause…) Come on, what they asked for is not dowry, these are just customary gifts, a part of the wedding routine of our enriched Indian culture!
Sorry State Of Indian Society
I wonder whats wrong with our society? These had no self respect. They didn’t mind begging for materialistic favors in exchange of their son. Well, it’s not even a fair exchange! For instance, here is a daughter who leaves her parent’s house, not the son, for that they need their houses to be filled with luxuries. At times, I feel like these kind of families start assessing and putting the value on their sons the day they are born.
Believe it or not, there is a kind of competition out there. For instance, one fat aunty, sitting outside her house, would brag to all the neighborhood ladies that ‘my son got so much cash, and this huge luxury car and a washing machine and a fridge and blah blah… (the list would be never ending)’. Another one would scream “Oh! My son also got a sofa, bed, two seater sports car, dining table, dressing table and blah blah with all this”.
I feel astonished, were they living without all these basic things, all these essential necessities and waiting for their sons to get married and were expecting their daughter in law to flood their houses with all these luxuries? Oh yeah? I just have one word for this… Disgraceful!
They Sold Their Sons
And instead of feeling disgraced and embarrassed, these people are swollen with pride! They show all these possessions to the complete world as if they have earned it! Well the reality is they have actually earned it by selling their son. And these materialistic things are kept on an exhibition for everyone to witness!
To still witness such crappy things from older generation is may be still explicable, but what is seriously heartbreaking is when people from this generation support such things. I am actually feeling furious about that idiotic son of theirs! Did I mention that this idiot is very well educated and is employed in one of the largest MNCs and resides in a metro city. Of course, he traveled abroad. Can you believe it? What is the use of studying and working in an MNC, if you can’t open up your mind yet!
Bluntly speaking, this situation makes me wonder- what is the difference between a man asking for dowry to get married and a prostitute asking money for sex?
Where Are Your Values?
Where are your values? Where is humanity? Make a relevant choice that is honorable not greediness!! Come on make a sensible, intelligent, reasonable, admirable and a praiseworthy choice. A choice that would help you to keep your head high that would compel others to admire you, not shoo you away.
By the way, my family came back with a loud and very strident NO. Every dowry demand (directly or indirectly) is a death threat. Walk away! Rather run away!